Icelandic Penis Museum

I don’t know much in this world, but I do know that when a friend texts you a link to an Icelandic museum devoted to penises, and you have a song about a penis, you sit down immediately and send them this:

“Hello. I would like to inquire about your museum. I have written and released a song called “Penis Tsunami,” and it is about a penis. I am interested in submitting my song into the songs-about-penises wing of your museum. If your museum does not have a subsection devoted to music written about penises, as it should, then I am interested in offering my song, “Penis Tsunami,” as the first submission. I think we could all agree that songs about penises are universal, in that they span the world’s many cultures as well as the eras of man. I humbly submit that “Penis Tsunami” may stand as one of mankind’s highest achievements in penile-themed songcraft.

Here is a secret SoundCloud link, so that you may listen to my song to determine its eligibility for consideration as a potential exhibit. Thank you for your time and consideration.

— Aaron Sarlo”

To quote my friends text: Sometimes you gotta think outside the cocks.

Life is fun.

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Ted

All these movies and shows about Ted Bundy right now. Know why? Because 2019 is the 30th anniversary of his death. That shows what a negative culture we are. We should be celebrating the anniversary of his birth. 

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☝️nature

Website redesign

You may notice, after scrolling past this post, that I don’t post very often. There is a good reason for this, and his name is Magnus Rex Sarlo  

So, I redesigned the website. Click through it, and admire its lovely, nuanced majesty. Admittedly, it is far from perfect. The DANGEROUS IDIOTS tab is sparse, to say the least. (That band is and has done great stuff. I’ll fill that section out when I have a day or two to spare.) Also, there are no links to listen to music. Plus, my other bands, DUCKSTRONAUT, and my old band from my Boston, Mass. days, SLEPT, are nowhere to be found. I’m working on all of it. 

In the interest of keeping this short, I’ll wrap this up with a photo of me and my full time job / best thing I ever did with my life. Please check back often, and subscribe for updates. I got a lot of stuff to tell you about reeeeal soon. I’m about to jam my new country (yes, country!) song up the world’s Sigmoid colon like it’s its first night in prison. 

Ugh. That last sentence does not go well with this picture of my child. 

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Magnus Rex Sarlo, seen here taking up all my time.  

Oh, The Night I Come Home

we’re all born into a trap

the bell has rung, the jaws have snapped

it’s plain as day and nobody gives a crap

so tonight I’m coming home


if you don’t know what is good or true

without somebody else telling you

light a fire and close the flue

because tonight I’m coming home


I shudder all the things I did

the lives I crushed into tiny bits

if guilt were bombs I’d be a thin, red mist

tonight I’m coming home


welcome to the dream that I can’t escape

the soulless deeds that won’t erase

I want ignition, I want disgrace

tonight I’m coming home


with broken dreams on a bitter face,

notes on the wall, all the pins in place

I ride the veins of time and space

tonight I’m coming home

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Hosting at The Loony Bin!

This week (starting TONITE), I am hosting a helluva comedy show at The Loony Bin Comedy Club of Little Rock

Why do I say "helluva?"

I've been doing stand-up for ten years, and this week I'll be telling jokes and stories - some of which helped me win (read: I came in second) the 2017 World Series of Comedy at The Loony Bin. 

So, if you've been wanting to check out my stand-up, and / or if you're a Tim Gaither and / or Matt Holt fan, I mean, this is your week. 

Come down to The Loony Bin 

TONIGHT and
TOMORROW NIGHT and
FRIDAY NIGHT and
SATURDAY NIGHT
!!!!!

One week from tonight!

Hey, person reading this. I entered the World Series of Comedy on a whim, and guess what? I came in 2nd at the semi-final round! This meant that I moved on to the final round - which is next Wednesday night, April 26. I really, REALLY want you to be there. Audience participation is crucial. And, I just want to see you. My buddy is gonna be recording the set, all professional like. If I don't suck too bad, I'll release the audio on iTunes or somewhere cool. 

That's all. Short post today.